Have you ever questioned your own belief about being loved abundantly? Being in an overdose of Love and surviving? Some people just believe in love in small doses, others not at all. There are people that try to reduce love to chemical reactions in the body.
I am just intrigued about the roots of this human attitude. Were does it comes from? How it is formed? To answer this question we have to go back, way back, to a time where we had no words and rational thinking was a blurred image. Yes, we were newborns, laying in the cradle.
The Abundance Archetype
Before we go into an archeological adventure to the primordial time of personal existence, let me invite you to a short detour, into the land of symbolism and archetype. Why is this important? Well, archetypes are pre existent cultural templates ingrained in the collective unconscious and thus independent from previous experience. Please see the works of Carl Jung for a more detailed explanation of the concept of archetype. In short, it is like a gallery of human possibilities for existence and one of them is Abundance. Before Jung there were others like medieval mystics and not so long ago contemporary occultists who were interested in the subject.
If you have the chance to look at a Tarot deck you can find the pictorial expression of the abstract concept of abundance through one of its cards. That card is precisely: Abundance, the Three of Cups.
The Three of Cups is a beautiful card speaking of the overflow of shared emotion. It is a card of communication from the heart: the riches of the heart. We do the Three of Cups on those occasions when we share abundantly from the heart. There is the feeling of a full chest bursting of gratitude for all that was given, in a constant flow. It is not about boasting it is about wishing for others the same fortitude that we were blessed with.
The Three of Cups also brings this ability to communicate abundance of feelings that one has, specially the nurturing, positive, lighted feelings. All the riches that we had experienced emotionally. A new born child, reconnecting with a loved one, falling madly in love for the first time. It is about the joy, the celebration, and the sharing of wonders in life. These are the things that the Three of Cups are made of, that abundance of emotional fuel that lights up the heart to be alive in grace.
How We Learn Abundance
This archetype is ever present and available to be reached but the road to harness it is a tricky one. It will very much depend on the initial conditions and initial conditioning we are faced with as babies.
Lets go back in time. Can you picture yourself, as a tiny, beautiful rosy baby, laying on the cradle? Although you couldn’t speak or make use of the rational apparatus, you were able to feel and learn through feeling.
Your primary caregiver was your first source of learning, about yourself and about the world you were living in. The way the caregiver would react to the baby would inform the baby what to expect and what to expect from the world. This would take place on the level of behavioral conditioning. Learning can take place just with simple association of stimulus and response without conscious intervention. That is how learning is possible before words and thoughts are fully developed (and we still learn as adults with this schema).
Some of us would have the chance to have attuned caregivers that would interpret our needs and act accordingly, some others were not as fortune and got caregivers that were not in synch with our needs.
So what impact would that have in our upbringing and learning of Abundance? Well, if the needs of the baby were met, the baby was learning several things. One of them was about trust. The baby could trust, by repetition, that food, nourishing and care were available. This is the basis of a world view through feeling. The baby could relax and trust that her needs would be fulfilled.
On the other hand, babies that had caregivers that were inconsistent or neglectful towards the baby’s needs, they were teaching the baby about inconsistence and mistrust. This would be ingrained in a pre verbal learning world vision that later on would surface as a scarcity and lack of abundance mentality.
The Works of Erik Erikson
A psychologist that explored this theme of trust, was Erik Erikson. He was one of the pioneers of human development research. In his research he came to acknowledge several stages of human development. The one we are particular interested in, goes form 0 to 1 year old, where the main theme is, on Erikson’s own words: trust vs mistrust.
Erikson reached to the conclusion that the baby learns hope and faith, or not, through the caregiver’s behavior: The way the baby is fed and comforted, teethed and induced to sleep. The infant will develop a healthy balance between trust and mistrust if fed and cared for and not over-indulged or over-protected.
On the other hand, abused, neglected or submitted to cruelty, this will destroy the baby’s trust and will foster mistrust. We can see this in young babies that exhibit lack of play, lack of exploration of their surroundings and a marked avoidance to risk-exposure.
There is another possible scenario where the baby is over protected and insulated from all and any feelings of surprise and normality, or unfailingly indulged. By doing this the caregivers are teaching the baby to create a false sense of trust amounting to sensory distortion. The baby is devoid of the complete picture of what reality might be and thus fails to appreciate as it is.
Are You Worthy of Abundance?
As we have seen earlier babies learn abundance by trusting their caregivers. They also learn another thing in the process. If trust is developed, along with it also comes a feeling of being worthy: “I am fed and taken care of because I am worthy”. The opposite is also true. The babies that learned mistrust develop a sense of unworthiness.
When these babies grow up we can see different behaviors in their adult counterparts. An adult might be ok with the good things that come in her way, like being helped by others, and accept it with ease, as another adult might be uncomfortable receiving help from someone else. The same goes with the attitude towards money, wealth and of course, abundance. This underlying stream doesn’t stop here, also affect adult relationships. Let’s see how abundance affects love.
As a child learns trust and worthiness, also opens the door to give and receive love. The more the trust and worthiness, the stronger the relation with love and loved ones, it flows easily and it is able to go deeper.
If trust, on the other hand, is not learnt, it is difficult to be at easy with a loved one, there is some sort of invisible block that doesn’t allow the relationship to go any further. There is an emptiness of words, of feelings. The elephant is in the room but no one can name it. The reason for this is that it is learned before words. We can feel it but not talk about it.
Only with a guided visit with a trained therapist to the dungeons of our own unconscious can this riddle be unravelled and gain the necessary awareness to name it and possibly overcome the initial conditioning.
We can see this in relationships that, after the initial stage, go into an emotional standstill. One can connect with another being based on the superficial layers of roles and social expectations but after that, there is silence and nothing to talk about, just common places and avoidance of difficult issues.
The underlaying conditioning says that one is not worthy to go any further and have an abundant love. Resignation settles in as this bleak reality is accepted. A christmas card and one year telephone call is enough to maintain this emotional wasteland. The well of emotional abundance has dried out. This last state of affairs gives rise to scarcity mentality.
Abundant vs Scarcity Mentality
It is now clear how attitudes of abundant and scarcity are born but there is more to it. There are ramifications of this. If an adult becomes to develop a scarcity mentality behaviors like greed, consumerism, weight gain, stacking of goods, miser, unaware of her and others needs, unable to speak about abundance and inclined to charity. Perhaps you are surprised to see charity on this list but think for a minute. Charity can only exist in a system where scarcity exists and its sub products: the poor.
On the other hand, an adult with an abundant mentality will be spotted through behaviors that promote balance, equanimity, generosity, sustainability, awareness of her and others needs, and able to speak about abundance.
Abundance is Just an Archetype Away
In todays world is easy to fall prey into the scarcity mentality, by our upbringing or social conditioning. But nothing is lost. When I talked about archetypes earlier I mentioned that they pre exist and are always at hand. It is like an internet login.
The password to get in, and restore our internal system to abundance is through the Three of Cups card, or any other archetype of your choosing that represents and inspires you to tune into Abundant Love: Jesus, Buddha, Mohamed, Quan Yin, Bodhisattva. These archetypes are the unconscious password to an expanded psyche system and it is at your disposal.
Abundant Love Tips
You can do this by meditating on the Three of Cups, or any other archetype of your choosing that represent and inspires you into Abundant Love:
- Create affirmations about abundance of love;
- Develop an attitude of gratitude;
- Revisit the moments in your life when you felt abundant love;
- Draw or paint your abundant love;
- Restore your trust in yourself accepting your perceptions and emotions;
- Create healthy boundaries;
- Move your attention from your head to your heart. Leave it there, as long as you can;
- Speak with friends and loved ones about what is abundant love for you.
May you be filled with Abundant Love, overflowing all around you, into your life path and beyond. BE LOVE.
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